When Adam and I found out we were expecting our third baby, a mix of emotions washed over me. We were thrilled, of course—each new life is such an incredible blessing. But if I’m being completely honest, there was also a wave of uncertainty, and even a little fear. How will we manage? Will we be able to give each of our children the attention they need? Will the chaos of raising a growing family ever calm down?
If you’re in a similar season, whether expecting your first, second, or fifth child, you might be feeling the same range of emotions. So, today I’m sharing a little bit of my heart on what it’s really like to add children to your family—the joys, the challenges, and the beautiful mess in between.
The Expanding Love
I remember when we were about to welcome our second child, Laurel, into our family, and I had this irrational fear: How can I love another baby as much as I love Magnolia? My heart was already so full with our firstborn that it felt impossible to imagine making room for another. But the incredible thing about love is that it doesn’t divide—it multiplies. The moment Laurel was born, my heart just expanded in ways I never could have imagined.
Now, as we prepare to welcome our third little one, I know that the same thing will happen. God has given us an incredible capacity to love, and each child brings a new dimension of joy, laughter, and life into our home. The love we feel for each of our children is unique and special, and it grows with every smile, every cuddle, every moment we share.
The New Dynamics
Adding a child to the family does, of course, change the family dynamic. For us, the shift from one child to two was more dramatic than I had anticipated. Suddenly, we weren’t able to tag-team everything—we each had a little one to care for, and it sometimes felt like we were running a never-ending relay race.
With a third baby on the way, I know our family dynamic is about to shift again. The reality is, more children means more needs to be met. Our attention is pulled in different directions, and there’s always a level of chaos that wasn’t there before. But there’s also a beauty in that. Our home is filled with more voices, more laughter, and yes, more noise—but it’s a joyful noise (most of the time!).
I’m learning to embrace this season of beautiful chaos. It’s messy and unpredictable, but it’s also full of life and love.
The Challenges No One Talks About
It’s easy to focus on the sweet moments, but I also want to be candid about the challenges that come with adding another child to the family—because there are plenty.
One of the hardest things for me has been finding balance. With each new baby, my time and energy have been stretched even further. I constantly worry about whether I’m giving Magnolia and Laurel enough attention, and I wonder how I’ll manage to do the same with a newborn in the mix.
While there’s immense joy in welcoming a new baby, there’s also the guilt that comes with dividing your time and attention. You may find yourself wondering if you’re giving enough to each child—especially your older kids who suddenly have to share you.
Then there’s the fear of not bonding as quickly with the new baby or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of multiple little ones. Your emotions might swing from excitement and gratitude to frustration and exhaustion, sometimes all within the same hour.
It’s important to acknowledge these feelings as normal. You don’t have to “choose” between your children—your love multiplies with each new addition, even if it feels stretched at times. Give yourself grace during this transition. It’s okay to feel joy and guilt simultaneously; it’s part of the complexity of motherhood. As you find your rhythm, these emotions will settle, and you’ll see how each child brings something unique and beautiful to your family dynamic.
Remember, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, and leaning on your support system—and most importantly, on God—can help you navigate the ups and downs.
And then there’s the exhaustion—physical, emotional, and mental. The sleep deprivation is real, and juggling the demands of multiple kids (along with work and everything else) often leaves me feeling drained. Some days, it’s hard to remember what it felt like to be well-rested or to have time to myself.
Unlike with your first child, when naps and rest were more accessible, you now have other little ones demanding your energy, making rest feel impossible. You may find yourself running on fumes, struggling to maintain your patience, or feeling irritable over small things. It’s not just physical exhaustion; the mental load of keeping track of schedules, milestones, and managing emotions is overwhelming too. And while we often power through on autopilot, this level of fatigue can make it easy to feel like you're failing.
But here’s the thing: it’s okay to acknowledge the exhaustion. It doesn’t mean you love your children any less or that you’re not “handling it.” It simply means you’re human, and this season is demanding. Prioritize small breaks, even if it’s just five minutes of quiet, and lean on your support system whenever you can. Remember, you’re not superhuman, and it’s okay to ask for help or take a break.
God’s strength can carry you through, even when you feel like you’re at your limit. Isaiah 40:29 reminds us, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” When your energy runs out, trust that His doesn’t.
One of the other challenges of adding children to your family is the strain it can place on your relationship with your spouse or partner. The demands of caring for multiple children often mean less time for just the two of you. Late-night diaper changes, school drop-offs, and juggling schedules can leave both parents feeling exhausted, making it difficult to connect the way you used to.
Communication might become more about logistics than meaningful conversations, and date nights feel like a distant memory. There’s also the emotional load—you may find yourselves feeling more irritable or frustrated simply because of the overwhelming demands of parenting.
But here’s the thing: you’re in this together. A strong partnership doesn’t mean you won’t have hard days. It means you lean on each other through them. Finding ways to reconnect, even in small moments, is key. A quick 10-minute check-in after the kids go to bed, a kind word during a stressful day, or even just a shared laugh over the chaos can go a long way.
It’s also important to give yourselves grace. This is a busy, exhausting season, but it’s just that—a season. Making space for each other amidst the whirlwind will strengthen your bond, and in time, you’ll find your rhythm again. Sometimes, the best way to care for your children is by first caring for your relationship.
But here’s what I’ve learned: It’s okay to admit that it’s hard. It’s okay to ask for help, to lean on your partner, your family, your friends, or even your community. As moms, we sometimes feel like we have to carry it all, but we don’t. God’s grace is there for us, and He’s placed people in our lives to help shoulder the load.
The Joy in the Chaos
For all the challenges, there’s one thing I wouldn’t trade for the world: the joy that comes with watching your children bond and grow together. There’s something so magical about seeing Magnolia take on her role as a big sister, watching her and Laurel laugh and play together, and knowing that they’ll have another sibling to share their lives with soon.
Yes, it’s chaotic. Yes, it’s exhausting. But it’s also incredibly rewarding. Each day brings its own little victories—seeing them learn, grow, and develop their unique personalities—and that makes every sleepless night and every chaotic day worth it.
Trusting God Through the Transition
Through all the ups and downs, one thing remains constant: God is with us in this journey. There have been moments when I’ve felt completely overwhelmed, wondering how I’ll ever manage, but God has been faithful. He’s shown me that I don’t have to have it all figured out. I just need to take things one day at a time, trusting Him to guide me through the hard moments and to give me the strength I need.
If you’re adding to your family, I want you to know this: You are not alone. The transition may not be easy, but it’s full of blessings. Lean into the love and joy that each new child brings, and trust that God will give you everything you need to handle the challenges.
A Word of Encouragement
So, to all the mamas out there who are navigating the transition of adding children to your family, take a deep breath. It’s okay if you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s okay if you’re not sure how you’ll manage. But know that there’s beauty on the other side of the mess, and there’s love waiting to multiply in ways you never expected.
Embrace the chaos, savor the sweet moments, and trust that God’s grace is more than enough to carry you through this season.
Are you adding to your family or considering it? I’d love to hear your thoughts, fears, or joys in the comments below. Let’s encourage each other as we navigate this beautiful, challenging, and rewarding journey of motherhood together.
In love and grace,
Alexa
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